The Desperation to Give Love

My skin ignites like jolts of lightning 

dancing on mountaintops, 

excited inside as my thumping heart beats...

thump thump thump 

thump thump 

Tears stream down my face as if they were rain, 

caught on a thread of spiderweb,

shiny strings that hold my fears, 

waiting for the sun to carry them away, 

Inside of me, I'm deep with love, 

wanting so 

desperately to give it to you..

Dreams With My Familiar Stranger

Sometimes the things 

never thought possible 

become reality. 

Dreams become your 

life and your life 

becomes nothing but 

a faint dream. 

You fall for someone 

you never really knew, 

yet something drew you 

to her. 

Everything you thought 

you knew was a dream, 

but now you are living 

in reality. 

Everything is changing. 

Hearts are racing, 

falling for a familiar 

stranger, 

not even once... 

worrying about bout the 

danger.

My Rollercoaster Journey

It's sad to see that you don't care when I'm not there.

Where is your concern when I don't turn up to visit?

Where is your emotion?

In my eyes, I see you're going through motions.

Instead of just words which you can hide behind, show me...

But you can't, 

you won't,

you don't

And I cry...

Euphoria, depression...

Acceptance, rejection...

its a never ending cycle,

a roller coaster I can't get off.

But I don't want to be off,

So I don't get off

I'll hang on until it hurls me down,

Down onto the cold and loneliness,

that is the ground...

And I die...

I am Born of a Woman

I am born of a woman, 

the salt of the nation.

Bruised and conflicted under the sun, 

that gave way to life and meaning,

wrapped around words twisted and hammered violently,

painted immortal heart with a canvass of confusion,

deliberate dillusions of misconceived minds in deep despair,

conceived in wedlock, 

perceived to be a bastard child.

Here stands a child woven with cloaks of name tags, 

shadows that need not the sun to appear but even in that gloomy darkness they glow.

Here stands a child who once bled in hallows and dungeons, 

places unforeseen in valleys of unspoken dreams and visions, 

unspoken questions of what was, is and will be...

I am born of a woman, 

oceans of tears have crafted routes of an identity kept under rocks, 

like ink stains they remain prominent scaring the most fragile part of all.

I am born of a woman, 

through it all I gave way to the past that was painted across fading clouds of superficial thoughts, 

I leaned on a shoulder harder than a rock softer than any cloud in the sky,

put my faith in something more solid than any gem existing,

Kneeled at the feet of a healer who chooses, not the act that was but, the purity of the heart.

I am born of a woman, 

salt of the nation, 

who gave birth to a new tomorrow.

Let Me Be

Let me be your Covenant of peace, 

that when in anger and subliminal fears of yesterday fog into your sweet today,

I will embrace you, 

cradle you in the unforeseen treasures of my heart.

Let me be your temple, 

an ever green tomorrow filled with fields of blooming dreams and visions, that when in captive,

I may be your captain to navigate your aspiration safely on shore while the sultry sun give way to your new tomorrow  with no submission to sorrow.

Let me be your sun, 

that we may in the womb of tomorrow bear sons and daughters, 

fruits of your seeds that will be harvest to the nations, 

answered prayers of the afflicted, 

misunderstood and weathering hearts, 

that when in hunger of wisdom and knowledge they may navigate their destinies written in the palms of their hands.

Let me be your moonlight, 

that when in doubt of the present, 

I may lead you through still nights, 

past silences that blur the route of your tomorrow.

I will shine my light of serenity from the depth of my heart where you will always find your feet upon the ground, 

dread on thorns of hate, 

flames of guilt, 

ashes of words that were spoken unto you, 

used to curse the lips of those who seek to bless you...

Let be your winter, 

that when the nights are too long and cold, 

I will submit my being to you. 

Allow the warmth of my flesh to caress you gently while you rest on my chest a place you can call home, 

I will keep you under the belly of my promises to see you through trials and tribulations that when summer comes you will never find yourself in Limbo but in an oasis where your prayers are always answered, 

your praises heard 

and your song of perseverance enchanting even in the minds of the ignorant...

Let me be your spring, 

give life a whole new meaning of love, 

an affection stronger than any form of hate conflicted on your yesterday, so that you may never be a convict, cuffed and imprisoned by debtors in this world.

Let me be the sound of your pacing heart, 

move along swiftly and gradually through the change of time,

through the changes of life,

in that heavenly music parade of each others presence, 

where birds sing and flowers dance to the sound of our heart beats, 

I want to be your reason for living.

Let me be your dance, 

guide your steps on the stage of existence, 

in that when the time to fall comes, 

we'll be in each others arms forming a bond inseparable in its nature. When the time to stumble comes,

we'll be a united force illuminating in the presences of darkness that dare take the word "hope" from tomorrow, in that, there will be a communion of trust.

Let me be your man, 

strong willed, 

bed rock integrity that our seasons may compliment each other in that you may be the woman you want to be...

Believing in THIS Future

I see pain when I look into the past, 

I look at the present and there it is again, 

but the future is what I can’t see. 

What will happen, will it change? 

It scares me not knowing. 

But When I think about my future, 

there is no way I can imagine it without you... 

Promise me that you'll stay, 

with me in my present and will never leave me... 

I'll even steal your heart, 

if it's not meant for me... 

Life with you by my side is all I'll truly ever need... 

You made this Good-for-nothing, 

life worth something.... 

Worthy of every breath I take... 

As my soul gets fulfilled from appreciating you, 

with no-conditions...... 

So special you are to me, 

Loving you won't be a problem, 

I believe in us...

I believe that it is my faith.... 

I...

Her

She tells me to only speak, 

if what I'm going to say is more beautiful than silence. 

But there is no shame in not knowing what is more beautiful, 

the shame lies in not finding out. 

Tomorrow I will try to make better mistakes. 

So I can find out what's more beautiful. 

Even though I know that whatever anyone else says will never be as beautiful as you. 

This feeling is unreal, 

is she cute? 

Yes. 

But she is also crazy shit beautiful. 

She told me that this is new to her

"you cool with this?" 

She nodded. 

Her legs went from stiff to noodle-ish. 

Back to college, 

I see her name. 

I doodle this. 

"how to make her smile?" 

No need to google this. 

I found new things in you, 

you helped me find new things in me. 

Like my words; they sound rushed, 

yet still like poetry. 

First day I felt discovered, 

second I felt rare. 

You had me drooling by the third, 

the fourth I started to care. 

I'm so confused, I'm torn. 

I don't know what it is, you do. 

Maybe it's the way, 

you turn me on. 

Maybe it's the way, 

Your skin is seems so soft and warm. 

Or maybe it's the way, 

you're not even mine. 

The way you make me so angry sometimes. 

The urges... whenever you're around. 

Sometimes It's even hard to control myself. 

So instead of kissing you, 

I bit my lips. 

I wanna taste you, 

and grab your hips, swirl my tongue around your clit. 

Slithering around your body, 

and your legs shivering, from all the sweat dripping. 

Imma guess you love it when I tell you naughty things. 

I'll know when It's the right spot, when your body sings. 

Baby girl, I'm just trying to say, 

I will be, 

Your senses. 

Your eyes. 

Your tongue. 

Your nose. 

I will be, 

Your skin. 

I will be your friend. 

I will be your lover. 

But can you see the questions in my life? 

Do you wonder what I think? 

Do you really want to know? 

I will soon be alone. 

But loneliness is my friend. 

She’s my abusive wife. 

Who beats the shit out of me. 

I sleep with her for now. 

Until you hold me too. 

Then today, 

we will be okay. 

A time was once spent. 

thinking of an enemy 

Now I only think of you. 

I want to be careful 

I've made sure I've failed before

I needed to fuck up, 

In order to make up. 

I just want to be around you. 

That presence I so wish for, 

the smiles the big beguile 

Could I ever have enough. 

Too many wishes 

To find a plan 

I wish I could be, your lover 

Your friend, your shoulder to lean on 

To be close to you 

The aura of light 

She is made up of words that not anyone can understand; 

her mind is a dictionary of sadness and heartache, 

and her heart is a poetry book for the hopeless. 

She is the prettiest song, 

the perfect sonnet, 

the most meaningful haiku, 

and the longest novel. 

It takes a while to read her, 

seconds to love her, 

and a life time to forget her. 

Her beauty is that of a million diamonds glittering in the sun 

Each reflecting its own ray of light making brilliant patterns 

The angels gasp in the wake of her presence 

She in herself being a masterpiece of God’s work 

As his giant gentle hands molded her he knew exactly who she would be 

She would be the one who could make anyone stop and gasp 

Who could content them just being within their arms 

Making them fill with warmth through just a brush of the lips 

Whose smile could light up the surrounding darkness 

Whose laugh could make anyone believe they had wings 

She would be the one who that someone would fall for 

Who would see her true beauty in the surrounding gloom 

Who would long for mere minutes with her 

Who would always long for just the feel of her hand 

He would know how lucky he was

He wouldn’t mistake infatuation over love 

He would realize all prayers had been answered 

He would simply pray “I want her to be the one” 

Which so permeates your heart 

I just want to be close to you 

I just like being close to you..

I Believe, For Two

These are my words you took onboard,

Welcomed silence received 

I will not lose momentum, 

Stumble or fall. 

I will stand still to allow time to move...

Neither will you stumble nor fall.

I will keep holding 

And believing for two, 

Till we can hold each other...

Or at least Me holding you.

Are You Real?!

Used to think infatuation was the end,
another scrap of paper and,
another bleeding pen, but...
when you like and,
you're liked,
what's the next step?

Along the way I lost myself,
between frayed edges,
concepts and dreams,
the idea that I would always go wrong
But what if this story
went amiss,
what if your attraction was real and not another broken promise?
What if I drowned out this sorrow
with alcohol and smoke,
what if I lost myself inside a broken book?
What if I was wrong and you were all it took...

I've got the notion that
you're more real than the others,
but you disarm me with a smile and I
forget where we were going

Did we have a specific purpose,
beneath the enchantment and delusion,
or did I make you up,
You're so amazing are you really even
human?

Am I dreaming or am I dying?
are you real or is my mind lying?

I crave your lips... your scent... your company

I crave your lips, your scent, your company
The moonbeam radiates through the cracks of your skin.
I crave your lips, your scent, your company.
Starving, I prowl these empty streets, tonight.
Hungry for your sleek laugh,
your measured pretty pace,
the liquid sway of your hips as you prance toward
and away from me..

I want to eat the pale canvass of your nose
down to your chin.
I'm flaring with the need for your unrefuted skin.
I'll eat you whole, skin and bones,
like a savage and your lover.
Like a lover of the the moon meeting head-on
with your hot heart..

I'm a satiated beggar filled with your grace.
I'm a lowly painter under the arrogance of your face.
I'm a wretched soul on the brink of your mercy.
I crave your lips, your scent, your company.

Maybe, Just Maybe, This Time

No poem can truly manifest the depths of emotions
from within my heart
If only I had the courage
to express my feelings for you
Maybe vibrant colours could have filled
the empty spaces between us

Nowadays, that we will soon be getting gray,
there's no more room for regrets
Sometimes, life seems cruel tearing us apart
with every tear from our hearts
Last time we saw each other
after so many countless moonless nights...

Perhaps I'm wrong about not telling you
what I truly feel deep inside me
My mind believes it's better kept that way,
but my heart says otherwise

In moments of clarity, I see a huge beacon
of shining hope for you and me

If yesterday had been forgiving,
then tomorrow our hearts shall beat as one forever...

My Muse, My Solace, My Gentle Stranger

I've dreamed of you.
My imagination painted you radiant..
a drifting angel in the last light of day,
More brilliant
than the hues of the setting sun..

Faceless and unknown to me
my mythical princess of the ocean...

I Paint You Beautiful

An attraction without judgement
unselfishly
wholeheartedly...

Because of you,
Theres meaning within my words..

Light in the dark..
and
Joy in the emptiness..

Muse..
such a flimsy word in comparison to you..

My solace,
my gentle stranger

I truly cannot describe this
and my words
so fragile, do you no justice!

I am a Victim

I am a victim of my own heart
I am in love, but love withdraws from me
And I'm left with wishes of what could have been
I cannot contend with what comes. I have tried, to no avail
Acquiescence is my only choice

Terrible thingc love
Compelling us to concede in a world bereft of compromise
Making us feel indomitable, yet weak and exposed
Easily undervalued is the intensity of this emotion
Because we fail to appreciate the power of THE three words

And we take little notice of the heart
So complex, yet easily broken
So effortlessly forgotten
And timec is just time; it heals NOTHING

So blessed I am then, with the reality that I at last have within myself the ability to love

Yet here I stand a victim...

Do You Think You Could?

[Inspired by Lerato Mannya]

Do you think for even a moment that maybe a decision one day must be made?
A decision to change...
change who you are,
to give up the one you love for the better?
Do you think you could?
If you had to give your love to someone else,
Would you be able to give up all of the time you spent?
The days given away,
The love you felt,
The tears you cried,
The promises made, The secrets told,
The memories created...
and the love shared?
Could you be the one to make the sacrifice?...
Would you grieve for the loss of that love?
or would you just move on?
Anger, would it set in?
NO!
Because if you love that person you would give them up to someone else...
If you had to, that is the ultimate show of Love.
To give up your happiness for others,
for people you barely know,
for someone you completely know!
Do you think you could?
Do you think you could turn it all around and let go?